Reflections

Since plants take several days to make significant changes I won't bore you to death with gardening every day.

I'm going through my pre-midlife crisis. It sucks.

It's been going on for about a year now. I'm not quite sure what brought it on but I suspect it had something to do with my husband getting a vasectomy and realizing that the child-bearing phase of my life has come and gone with my 30s rapidly approaching.

Everyone's getting older.

My oldest son is about to turn 11 and has been begging for a cell phone for several years now. unknown to him, we are about to cave and add him to our plan. This is yet another milestone in his life that takes him closer to adulthood.

We have been on the fence about enrolling our youngest who is 4 in pre-school next year since he won't make the cut off for kindergarten. I decided to keep him in the part-time program because I "only have one more year left until he's gone to school 5 days a week! *sob*" Then I needed several hugs and kisses before I could calm down from the mini breakdown.

Yet another nail in this coffin called "AGE" is that my parents are aging and quite honestly I don't know how to handle it. Recently my dad had heart surgery. I still don't know how I'm dealing with it. My mom has been having health problems for a while now and while she's not entirely honest with us about everything going on (yes I'm sure you're reading this!) we worry and can only hope and encourage her to take care of herself.

My husband's mom has had a rough bout of health the last couple years. Despite his definite alpha male-ness he's not taken it as well as one would have thought. His surviving grandmother is in her mid-90s. Mortality is something we haven't had to deal with in a very long time.

I want to age gracefully I'm just not ready for it. I don't remember relinquishing my youth.